The Morning Briefing August 15, 2012

CAMDEN – There are some children in the Camden public schools finding their education to be financially rewarding. The school district is shelling out $500,000 to seven students who were forced to eat their lunch on the floor as punishment in February 2008. The Courier Post reports the kids are also learning what life is like in a world of lawyers, who will be netting $220,000 of the bounty.

BERLIN TOWNSHIP – Looking for a career change? Seeking reliable income in a stress-free and especially quiet work environment? Look no further than the glamorous world of pet cemetery ownership. Up for sale is the Pet Lawn Memorial Park – featuring the remains of 15,000 dogs, cats and others. As an added bonus, there are a dozen cremated humans on a dazzling six-acre landscape. The owner tells the Philly Inquirer she will let it all go for about $600,000, but warned any potential owners they should anticipate a $25,000 tax bill. Buyers may want to consider some innovative upselling of mourners – perhaps a bejeweled tennis ball that can be with Rover through eternity.

MILLVILLE – Hey, there could already be some new tenants at the pet cemetery, as dozens of birds have been dropping like flies in Millville. Beginning around 8:30 a.m. Tuesday, a gaggle of red-winged blackbirds and sparrows started dropping on people’s homes and lawns. The birds would try to get back up, but kept collapsing. The News of Cumberland County thinks it may be linked to a local farmer spreading a pesticide that messes with birds’ nervous systems. Perhaps he will give them a group burial in a serene and respectful location. 

TRENTON – The big question in New Jersey this fall may not be Obama v. Romney, but rather Paper v. Plastic. NJSpotlight reports a proposed law being considered this fall would force grocery shoppers to pay a surcharge if they opt for plastic. The seemingly benign issue has hit the forefront following hearings about the deteriorating condition of the Barnegat Bay, where those damn plastic bags are clogging stormwater basins.

ATLANTIC CITY – There are now all of these electric cars hitting the market – from the BMW ActiveE to the Nissan Leaf. But there are still a woefully limited number of charging stations in New Jersey, stifling the roll out of this new technology. Environmentalists, electric car dealers and motorists will be at the Camden County Municipal Utilities Commission this morning to talk about what must be done to increase the number of electric car drivers, while weaning motorists off their expensive diet of unleaded gasoline.

WEST ORANGE – It’s amazing that political candidates are still wracking their brains to find ways to stifle voter turnout among demographics that don’t sit well with the pollsters. As we prepare for yet another Presidential election, Assemblywoman Mila M. Jasey and Assemblyman John F. McKeon are teaming with civil rights organizations to blast laws recently enacted in other states that force voters to show photo IDs before voting. Expect an earful at a press conference today at the John J. Renna Jr. House in West Orange.

ENGLEWOOD CLIFFS – Sure, there are plenty of opportunities for weekly rentals in LBI. But don’t dare try to get the same deal in Englewood Cliffs, where town officials are banning any house from being rented for less than six months. The Record reports the new law stems from one resident who created a transient party haven, renting his house for $3,000 a week. Apparently, neighbors in this quiet suburb complained to the town, prompting actions. Still the question remains: of all the places in New Jersey, why vacation in Englewood Cliffs?

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

Even though August 15, 1998 had temperatures over 90 degrees in Washington, it was particularly icy in the White House. That was the day when Bill Clinton admitted to Hillary that he may have, uh, had sex with that woman.