JERSEY CITY – New Jersey is hearing the latest explanation from Mayor Jerry Healy about how he ended up photographed naked on his porch in 2004. Originally, he told The New York Times that he had been drunk and couldn't figure out how he ended up there. The story started to unfold when his spokesman explained Healy heard a commotion and raced outside. But Healy has now told The Star-Ledger of the apparent real story: three Hispanic girls were outside his home, banging trashcans.
Now, here is where the story gets weird:
The girls pulled the towel off of him and he "started laughing," Healy tells the newspaper.
But then the mayor notes that the girls "started doing other stuff."
"It was filthy," the mayor says. "I chased them away and I just sat down." (Apparently, no need to go inside and get dressed). While the mayor was enjoying the cool night air, someone decided to snap a photo of him. See? This story is perfectly explainable.
TRENTON – A law that would bar licensed therapists from trying to convert gay teens into full-fledged heterosexuals is moving steadily through the State House. And that is prompting supporters of gay conversion to hold a press conference at 11:30 a.m. today to talk about the many benefits of convincing self-conscious teens that what they feel is wrong and must be changed for the good of themselves and society.
RIDGEWOOD – There will be a lot of 'splainin' to do in Ridgewood, following a massive teen house party over the weekend. In the latest of a string of teen house parties that began when John Smith left his kids alone in the Jamestown colony to hunt squirrel, police report 17 teens were hauled off in handcuffs for under-aged drinking. Fourteen others went to Valley Hospital to sober up. The Record reports it is unclear if the parents were home at the time. Either way, cops will be saving the big charges for whatever genius thought it was perfectly fine for their kid to have "a few friends over" for "maybe a beer or two."
STATEWIDE – Shhh. Hear that? Blissful silence, right? Ah, but only for a moment because your ears are about to be attacked by the mating calls of billions of cicadas. Once the ground temperature hits 64 degrees, the 17-year swarm of cicadas will emerge, spread their wings, fly around and look for some hot mating action in the last weeks of their lives. CBS reports the current group, Brood No. 2, is one of the largest ever — numbering in the billions. So, cancel that Memorial Day barbeque.
TETERBORO – Should a town with 67 residents be permitted five additional liquor licenses? Apparently, in Teterboro, the answer is a resounding "yes," as part of a new super, mega-shopping destination featuring a Walmart and Costco. The legislation allowing the liquor licenses already has the blessing of the state Legislature, the Record reports, and all are awaiting to see if the Governor signs off on the deal. But local restaurant owners are crying fowl, saying the new licenses will flood the market and take away business. State law allows one license for every 3,000 residents. An additional five licenses may seem a bit much for a town population that can fit in the back of a minivan.
UNION COUNTY – With word that county Democratic Chairwoman Charlotte DeFilippo is finally abdicating the throne, signs are pointing toward Assemblyman Jerry Green to be crowned. Green seems the ideal choice, as he has run the Plainfield Democrats for 25 years and has proven loyalty to the party. Interesting to see how new leadership will open county Democrats to new ideas and people.
IN THE MEDIA
With the Jersey City mayoral election down to the wire, there was some fine column writing last week by Agustin Torres of the Jersey Journal:
"While looking at Tarot cards to divine the Jersey City election, I was reminded of the Rule of 32.
Let me note this is the 100th anniversary of when Jersey City Mayor Frank Hague was elected to the city's first commission in 1913 under the new Walsh Act. On his re-election in 1917, Hague was selected among the commissioners as the city's mayor.
Now every 32 years, a little more than a generation, there has been an upheaval -- a change in the ruling political machine. So, 32 years after Hague became mayor, the machine was torn asunder when Hague's second in command, John V. Kenny, defeated Hague's choice and nephew, Frank Hague Eggers.
Another 32 years later, rebel and rascal Gerry McCann broke from the existing Democratic Party leadership to become mayor and wrest control of local leadership and quite possibly create more tribal leaders in the city.
This city election is another 32 years later."
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
It was this day in 1997 that the Rock n' Roll Hall of Fame inducted both Michael Jackson and the Bee Gees – showing America that, yes, there is nothing wrong with men who can make a career squealing like four-year-old girls.