NEWARK – Why did the CityPlex 12 Theater cancel showings of a documentary about a political activist convicted of killing a Philly cop? That's the big question of protesters today, who will be holding a rally at 5:30 p.m. Apparently, the film, "Mumia: Long Distance Revolutionary" was to open April 26, but the film director learned two weeks earlier that theater owners changed their minds. The film's producer claims he reached out to Mayor Cory Booker for help, but has only received radio silence.

CLARK – When you identify yourself on YouTube as "Kai: the hatchet-wielding hitchhiker," a jury may bring some predisposed opinions. We will find out in Union County, where this so-called "Internet celebrity" will face charges for beating to death a 73-year-old lawyer, following his arrest last night at a bus terminal in Philadelphia, CBS reports.

SAYREVILLE – Gov. Chris Christie sure knows how to whip up a crowd – especially if that crowd comprises fed-up people with flooded homes. The Governor received a hero's welcome in Sayreville yesterday, announcing 350 homeowners there and South River can unload their underwater properties on the federal government by next year. The government, in turn, will knock down the structures and create parks to protect other neighbors from the same fate.

HILLSIDE – More spanking at Hillside High School? The investigation widens in the case of the spanking principal, now on administrative leave after being accused of smacking the tush of a 17-year-old girl. Sources tell Eyewitness News there may be even more spanking, as school officials investigate the goings-on with two other students.

WASHINGTON – Democrats have likely never been happier to see Sen. Frank Lautenberg. The oldest living senator made an appearance yesterday on Capitol Hill in a wheelchair to help the Democrats score the needed votes on a nominee to run the EPA. The Record reports Lautenberg has been MIA, last seen April 17 to vote on a gun control measure. Prior to that, Lautenberg was gone for a month. The 89-year-old senator told the Record in a weak and halting voice, "I feel good now." We wish him the best.

PRINCETON – The state is putting its money where its mouth is, rewarding towns that consolidate. A check for $464,000 is being sent to Princeton to help pay for transition costs, following the January merger of the borough and the township. Ultimately, Princeton expects to save $3 million annually from the merger, prompting us to question why other cash-strapped towns aren't jumping on this.

STATEWIDE – Gov. Chris Christie is touting the state's unemployment numbers have dipped to 8.7 percent, proudly noting "something is happening here." Yes, but with a national unemployment average of 7.5 percent – as Democrats will note – New Jersey still has nothing to be proud of. Just with New Jersey's natural location – strategically sandwiched between Philly and New York – job creation should not be such a constant struggle.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

It was this day in 1961 that Fidel Castro offered to release Bay of Pigs prisoners in exchange for 500 bulldozers. Hmm; enticing offer. How about we offer just 300 bulldozers, but then throw in 50 Studebakers that can be used as taxis, two state-owned McDonald's, a right fielder for the Havana Cubs and a signed pin-up of Marilyn Monroe, with the words: "To Fidel, hugs and kisses."

FLORHAM PARK – If the Jets think the New England Patriots are tough to deal with, they've never messed with suburban moms. The Jets are on defense this morning – and losing badly – after hundreds of neighbors are piling on a petition to stop the team from constructing a helipad in Florham Park. No one wants to deal with the extra air noise. CBS reports the Jets want the helipad for their executives to fly to the training facility. But local residents note that Morristown Airport is just a few minutes away. Residents call the plan vain, excessive, obnoxious and a few other choice words that would even make Rex Ryan blush.

ATLANTIC CITY – Casino regulators are doubling down – yet again – on the fledgling and bankrupt Revel casino, approving a reorganization plan that eliminates more than $1 billion in debt. Sure, the casino is handing about 82 percent of ownership to its debtors as part of the deal. But it is still able to keep those big glitzy doors open for whoever walks in and says, "Hey, is this the Borgata?"

TOMS RIVER – If cops dub one of their raids as "Operation Weed Wacker," you know it's going to be something good. They didn't disappoint at the shore, where a two-month investigation ended with a bust of 140 pounds of marijuana. Ten people were arrested and $500,000 was seized as cops fanned out to homes and businesses in Ocean, Monmouth and Middlesex counties.

SAYREVILLE – One day after rubbing elbows with royalty, perhaps Gov. Chris Christie thinks it is time to dial it down. He will be meeting with many blue-collar residents in Sayreville today who have little interest that Prince Harry looks oh-so-cute on the boardwalk. Rather, they want to know if the state will buy their flood-prone properties, following a Sandy surge that destroyed 270 homes in the Weber Avenue neighborhood. Christie asked for $250 million in federal funds to buy out approximately 1,000 homes. Perhaps the big announcement is today.

ON AIR – One of the best-kept secrets in New Jersey is that the Governor has a Republican primary challenger in June. So, when Christie goes on the Today show on May 24 as an hour-long guest host, PolitickerNJ is wondering if his little-known opponent needs equal airtime, under federal rules. Could that mean Seth Grossman would somehow, some way need to get on television for an hour to talk about his big plans for New Jersey?

WAYNE – It takes a lot for teens to peal away from computer screens long enough to notice that big world out there. So it is heartening to hear that hundreds of middle and high school students are heading to William Paterson University today for a 30th-annual poetry reading contest. And, no, there is no known app that does the poetry reading for you.

IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS

NEW YORK – This is it. We have officially reached the moment when some people on this planet have too much money. Someone, somewhere – bless his soul – decided to plunk down $1.9 million at auction on a topless painting of the late actress Bea Arthur, the NY Post reports. The anonymous bidder purchased the painting known as "Bea Arthur Naked" over the phone – likely to hide his identity for anyone asking the obvious question – "Dude...Really?"

(Kudos to the NY Post writer who came up with: "It's Golden Girls...Gone Wild!"

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

It was this day in 1991 that The Daily Planet fired cub reporter Jimmy Olsen. We heard he bounced back as a blogger for HuffPo, while driving the late-night drunks for the Metropolis Cab Co. and sleeping in Superman's basement.

STATEWIDE – A new report shows the average property tax bill in New Jersey grew to $7,885 in 2012, another record high. The state Department of Community Affairs reports property taxes are up nearly 19 percent since a year before Gov. Chris Christie took office, the Record reports. Christie's likely response: Can we still blame it all on Jon Corzine?

JERSEY CITY – The election of Steven Fulop as mayor of Jersey City ushers in a tectonic shift in Democratic politics not just in the state's second largest city, or in Hudson County. Fulop's election will have repercussions statewide as he is the undisputed leader of a new generation of reform minded Democrats taking over from a party that has long relied on an aging bench. Even one of the state's most powerful Democrats, Essex County Executive Joseph DiVincenzo, fresh from a fundraiser a day earlier worthy of a gubernatorial candidate, came to offer congratulations to the newly minted mayor.

SEASIDE HEIGHTS – The iconic Jet Star roller coaster – sitting in the Atlantic Ocean since Superstorm Sandy – will be dismantled today. Workers have been ripping apart the structure and dumping the parts in a huge storage barge. While the Jet Star will soon be gone, roller coaster riders will never forget that one frightening moment when you swerve toward the water and feel as if you will be thrown in the Atlantic. Disney: Try all you like; you can't recreate that.

LONG BRANCH – A strip of the city's business district that has served as an example of a depleted real estate market may soon show some life. The Asbury Park Press reports a realty firm has been buying up foreclosed properties and other dilapidated structures on Broadway, where there have been dreams of a thriving arts district. Long Branch has already proven it can redevelop its shoreline; interested to see if it can finally do the same with its business district.

SOUTH ORANGE – As Lauryn Hill prepares to head to prison on July 8 for tax evasion, she held a concert last night in Brooklyn, NBC reports. Now seems the perfect opportunity to earn some cash for the family while she pays her debt to society in a low-security prison farm. To keep the money flowing, perhaps she can use some Johnny Cash music for a great re-mix about life behind bars.

WEST WINDSOR– Gov. Chris Christie vowed last week to have no more talks about his weight. But, hey, that's just local media. Yesterday he was chatting all about his girth in West Windsor, where he appeared with Joe Scarborough and Mika Brzezinski, the co-hosts of MSNBC's "Morning Joe" at a Barnes & Noble store to promote a book. "I'd be changing out of my professional clothes ... and would go to casual clothes that I didn't wear a lot, and then something wouldn't fit," Christie told the co-hosts. "That's when I'd really be angry with myself."

IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS

WASHINGTON – All we've been hearing is the doom and gloom of the nation's deficit. But now there are concerns that we are paying off the deficit too quickly. Huh? The New York Times reports the deficit is still more than $1 trillion, but is expected to fall by $642 billion by September 30 - $200 billion more than expected three months ago. Apparently, paying off the deficit too soon does not help the federal unemployment rate of 7.5 percent. No clue how that correlates; maybe we need all the extra staff to figure out how broke the country is.

DENVER – A local woman has made national news for changing her baby's diaper in a local Starbucks. Apparently that flies against the hipness of drinking overpriced coffee while attempting to look busy on a laptop. An employee threw her a rag and told her to clean up the mess. It all escalated into a shouting match, prompting the store to call Denver police to report "a disturbance." Expect Starbucks to finally recognize it is as mainstream as McDonald's. That begins with installing baby changing stations in the restrooms.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

It was this day in 1976 that the Heyettes' "Fonz Song" somehow reached #91 on the charts. Other key songs on the album: "Fonzie for President," "Arnold's Theme" and "Sit on It."

ENGLEWOOD - You'd think life in a senior housing complex is all about prune juice and daytime game shows at full volume. But life at the Vincente Tibbs senior building in Englewood seems more like the inner city, with charges filed for prostitution and drug use. The Record reports a 75-year-old man was providing hookers for some neighbors - a shuddering vision. Oh, and a school crossing guard was busted for having a crack pipe.

BERLIN - Lawyers for L.A. Lakers star Kobe Bryant are heading to court today to block his mom from raiding his old closet. Mom wants to move to Nevada and needs money for the house. So, she dug out his old practice gear, varsity letters, awards and anything else she could find from Bryant's days at Lower Merion High School for auction. Kobe told his mom she had no right to sell his stuff. She disagrees, somehow finding 900 separate items for the auction block. It is all valued at $1.5 million, with a $450,000 advance for mom,

SEASIDE HEIGHTS - Hey, welcome to Jersey. Have a pen. Prince Harry will be receiving a writing instrument made of the ravaged boardwalk in Seaside Heights during his guided tour today with Gov. Chris Christie. It is part of the highly-publicized visit to see some of the $37 billion in damage wrought by Superstorm Sandy.

TEANECK - It's hard to play tough guy when you are driving around in a Chrysler minivan. Yet that fact didn't deter a Hackensack man who engaged in a shouting match with a car full of men at a traffic light in Teaneck on Sunday. That prompted three of the men to get out, pull the guy from the minivan, smack him around and then take off with the minivan. They then left the minivan in a nearby parking lot, after dumping the contents onto the ground. If this guy wants to continue to argue on the road, perhaps he should trade in the Chrysler for a battle-tested Hummer.

JERSEY CITY - City Councilman Steve Fulop's candidacy for mayor began more than two years ago with an email to his supporters announcing his plans to run. The rubber hits the road today in the state's second largest city when voters will decide between Mayor Healy, who The Star-Ledger called "ineffective, unethical and often downright embarrassing" or Fulop, who the Ledger called a councilman of "rare energy and talent" in its endorsement last week. With two other minor mayoral candidates in the race, the winner will need 50 percent plus 1 to avoid a runoff election in four weeks.

LAKEWOOD - Some unexpected drama at the Lakewood Board of Education meeting last night, when it was announced the FBI issued a subpoena for all contracts, bills and invoices involving three vendors, as well as all other paper trails over the past five years. Then, to add some fuel to all this, four board members tried to fire the board attorney for what they claimed to be excessive fees, the Asbury Park Press reports. It would seem now is the time to have an attorney who knows what the heck is going on - high fees or not.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

It was this day in 1998 that Seinfield remained master of its own domain, marking its final episode with commercials sold for $2 million a pop. Yes, they were real and they were spectacular.

HARVEY CEDARS – The poster children for ludicrous cash settlements – a wealthy Harvey Cedars couple who received $375,000 when a dune replacement project blocked their view of the water – will head today to the state Supreme Court, which is likely wondering what the lower courts were thinking. The couple was somehow able to argue the project to reduce massive flooding had reduced the value of their $1.9 million home by $500,000. Meanwhile, an expert for the town claims the couple should just have received a very reasonable $300, as the government-funded dune work protects the prized beach house from ultimate obliteration.

ON THE RAILS – You can safely argue we've gotten our money's worth from the Amtrak locomotives – which have logged some 3.5 million miles through New Jersey since the 1980s. Now, Amtrak says, we are finally in line for some new locomotives under construction in California that should be arriving within three years. The new locomotives are based on the fancy, high-speed European trains that are energy efficient and much safer than what is zipping along our rails now.

HOBOKEN – Life in Hoboken these days should include a canoe and paddle, as it seems flash flooding and broken water lines are now as common as parking shortages and Happy Hour. Mayor Dawn Zimmer, who sees her political future going down the drain if she can't find a way to control the water, says Hoboken is doing all it can to fix the sewers, and is calling for three massive pumping stations that would cost tens of millions of dollars. CBS reports she is also talking about berms, flood walls and land buyouts – all of which are not quick fixes to problems that have festered over many mayoral administrations.

ON THE AIRWAVES – There was a splash of Gov. Chris Christie among the typical TV ads this morning, as he unleashed an ad shredding Sen. Barbara Buono as someone who raised your taxes 154 times. There are grainy black and white images of Buono with the sinister former Gov. Jon Corzine. Interesting for the Governor to go negative so quickly in this $800,000 media buy; polls show most voters have no idea who Buono is. If you are so far up in the polls – as the Governor is – wouldn't you want Buono to limp along in anonymity until the fall? Then, drain the ad budget.

TRENTON – Are property taxes finally under control in New Jersey? Guess it all depends on who you ask. The Christie Administration says his tax policies are a glorious "resounding success." Democrats, meanwhile, think they must be talking about Montana, as property taxes in New Jersey now average $8,000. Democrats have a new way to drive their message home, launching a website called christiepricetag.com, in which taxpayers can easily see how much their taxes have escalated since Christie took office in 2010. It is an overly simplified tool for a very difficult issue, but, hey, it makes it tougher for the Governor to declare himself winner on the tax issue.

JERSEY CITY – With Election Day tomorrow, Mayor Jerry Healy was hoping for some positive press over the weekend. What he got was the latest unexpected folly in the late stages of his campaign. As he was glad-handing at the PNK Tavern Saturday night, a local woman was shot outside, apparently an innocent victim. With media swirling, Healy visited the woman in the hospital – likely the last thing he wanted attention for, as he argues the city has become safer under his stewardship.

IN THE MEDIA

With word that 83-year-old Barbara Walters is finally retiring from ABC News next year, who is going to ask all those sappy questions that make our celebrities cry? Walters has been a pioneer of TV journalism, known for a 15-year stint at the Today Show, before heading over to ABC in 1976. Walters is the first woman who co-anchored an evening news program, but likely will be best remembered for asking Chris Christie why he is so fat.

THIS DAY OF HISTORY

It was this day in 1996 that O.J. Simpson resorted to British television to convince the public of his innocence, following the not guilty verdict.

AT THE MARKET – Vegetarians are crying fowl after learning that mislabeled salads being sold at Whole Foods may have included chicken. Company officials are officially saying "whoops," revealing that labels for chicken salad and vegan "chick'n" salad were reversed at 15 stores in the Northeast. Heck, we're no grocery store experts, but perhaps a way to avoid the mix-up is to stop marketing vegan salads as "chick'n."

CLIFTON – When you make a living by purchasing the contents of abandoned storage lockers, you need to be prepared for a surprise or two. News 12 NJ reports the owner of a local pawnshop was forced to call in the bomb squad to detonate what looked like a suicide vest, featuring wires, switches and gadgetry. Four blocks were evacuated to clear the way for a big boom this morning. The glaring question: Where did this vest come from?

STATEWIDE – Some vague language in the controversial, no-bid contract to a debris removal firm is stirring more debate. AshBritt – the out-of-state company that scored a $150 million deal to clean up New Jersey after Superstorm Sandy – is carving out some extra cash through its mileage reports. It gets paid for the amount of mileage to the dump, but it is unclear if the billing should stop when the truck reaches the dump, where it is weighed, where it dumps the load or perhaps where the crew then heads for pizza and beer. We're talking big numbers: The deal allows AshBritt to charge 30 percent more for trips longer than 16 miles, likely prompting company officials to proclaim "Twice around the park, Jeeves!" In any case, towns have been hit with tens of thousands of unexpected dollars, a state-hired monitor says. The state Comptroller's Office is now on the case.

STATEWIDE – Perhaps AshBritt is picking up some billing tips from private, for-profit New Jersey hospitals, charging some of the highest bills in the nation. The Record, citing Medicare, reports Bayonne Medical Center had prices off the charts, with costs for treating heart failure, kidney and urinary tract infections among the highest of 3,000 hospitals nationwide. It also learned the price of care swings wildly across the state, with a knee or hip replacement costing $203,000 at a Camden hospital, but only $41,800 at a hospital in Pompton Plains. Maybe there are 30 percent surcharges for doctors that need to commute more than 16 miles.

TRENTON – Perhaps there was a memo floating around the State House that read: "Promote New Jersey tourism on May 10." Today, there seems to be an all-out blitz. You have the state's tourism head, Grace Hanlon, keynoting "The Jersey Shorecast," at the Stockton Seaview Hotel. There's DEP Commissioner Bob Martin heading to LBI to plant grass, and Agriculture Secretary Doug Fisher at the opening of a horse competition. We're curious to see what the Corrections Commissioner has planned to promote the prisons.

MANALAPAN – It seems odd that police are promoting a DWI checkpoint planned for 11 p.m. Friday to 3 a.m. Saturday at Route 9 south. It just seems to diminish the element of surprise. But, again, someone who just sucked down the worm on a $8 tequila bottle will likely not remember reading that cops will be pulling over cars into the Sun National Bank parking lot.

IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS

NEW YORK – Tell us if you heard this plot before: During the day, they are just like you. But, at night, they patrol the streets as masked crusaders, fighting crime wherever it lurks. CBS reports the comics have come to life in Gotham, where members of the "New York Superheroes" are mounting their skateboards and taking to the streets. Going by the names of "Snipe," and "Spyder" and "Dark Guardian," they patrol subways and scale walls, protecting themselves with super shields of plastic and metal. Yes, this is a real news story.

IN CASE YOU MISSED IT

In Wednesday's Morning Briefing we mentioned that Phil Alongi, executive producer of NJTV's NJToday, brought the house down at the New Jersey Legislative Correspondents' Club show with a rendition of "No Pollo For Mio," to the tune of "O Sole Mio." Here's the video that aired on NJTV last night: Click Here

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

It was this day in 1924 that J. Edgar Hoover selected his best lacy undergarments to be sworn in as director of the FBI.

TRENTON – The big gun control measure is a proposal to limit the amount of bullets in an ammunition magazine – the idea being the typical New Jerseyan shouldn't be able to mow down the forest without at least reloading. But the State Senate is not talking about that issue today, apparently, as it debates 10 other measures that are part of a 22-bill gun control package sent over from the state Assembly. All measures seem to be common sense – such as requiring additional health records as part of a background check. But expect hefty opposition from those who think camouflage meshes perfectly with flannel.

HILLSIDE – The screws are tightening quickly on Union County's long-time political boss, Charlotte DeFiloppo, now dealing with pesky auditors poking around her $150,000 in payouts for unused vacation time. The Star-Ledger reports the money was part of her generous package as executive director of the Union County Improvement Authority, and follows state criticism about whether she is entitled to the cash. DeFilippo, who works at home from her infamous dining room table, apparently didn't use 35 of the vacation days she was allotted in three different years, opting for the cash.

IN THE TUMMY – The New York Times is likely giving Gov. Chris Christie a huge bout of indigestion, detailing all the dietary restrictions he now faces with stomach-band surgery. Governor: in the mood for pizza? Nope. How about a juicy steak? Ain't gonna happen. In fact, if Christie does not stick to a specific post-surgery diet, in which his food has to be cut into itty-bitty pieces and chewed well, he will spend plenty of time in the gubernatorial bathroom. Perhaps it's time to install a wireless router.

IN CUFFS – A man who has endured life with the first name of "Semen" should expect it to be the prime topic of discussion as he heads to prison. He deserves all he gets, after a Manhattan jury found him guilty of scamming $57 million from Holocaust survivors. Semen Domnitser (snicker, snicker) faces up to 20 years in the joint for using his nonprofit, the Conference on Jewish Material Claims Against Germany, to siphon reparations paid by the German government to Jewish victims of the Nazis, the JTA reports.

WEST LONG BRANCH – Are we still talking about those rich beachfront property owners and their refusal to block dune construction? Apparently, yes, as Monmouth University hosted a forum yesterday called "Dunes, More Dunes and Dough," the Asbury Park Press reports. Apparently, some of these self-consumed residents are still battling the dunes, arguing they are entitled to have the perfect waterfront view from all angles. Some towns, in response, have posted the names of holdouts on the Internet. The Governor – likely cranky over this new diet - is holding steady, saying the dunes will be constructed no matter who shouts "hogwash."

PEQUANNOCK – Time will only tell if Pequannock's move to provide merit pay for municipal employees is the right thing to do. On one hand, dedicated employees should be rewarded with cash bonuses for a job well done. But things get sticky when you are dealing with politicians who need to be re-elected. Employees shouldn't have to worry if their decisions will make one guy look good, and not another. And, more importantly, should they be consumed with how the changing political winds will affect their paychecks? In any case, expect the mayor's street to be plowed first.

TRENTON – Gov. Chris Christie unveiled a star-studded video at the annual legislative correspondent's dinner Tuesday, filled with cameo appearances, from Jon Bon Jovi to Alec Baldwin. The plot of the seven-minute video is about an apparent madcap search for the Governor's now-iconic blue fleece, given to him by Stephen N. Adubato, the founder of Robert Treat Academy, where the governor visited the day after he was elected.

Click here for the video the Governor hopes will go viral.

IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS

ALBANY – Bill may love Phil, and Molly may love Polly. But state tourism officials just want them all to love New York. The Cuomo Administration is now marketing to the gay and lesbian contingent – and all their disposable dollars – as part of the new "I Love NY LGBT" campaign. The campaign capitalizes on all that goodwill created in 2011 when the state legalized gay marriage. This all promises to be a huge boon for the roadside antique stand industry.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

In yet further proof that Texas should become its own country, it was this day in 2011 the Texas Senate approved legislation allowing college students to carry handguns on campus. Makes perfect sense; you never know when you'll get attacked by the knife-wielding lunch lady.

ATLANTIC CITY – Leave it to the lawyers to muck up traditions in the Miss America pageant. While we freely admit we haven't watched the annual beauty contest since the days of Lawrence Welk, it's annoying to learn the signature song won't be played when she is crowned in September. The sappy song, which begins with the words, "There she is, Miss America..." is apparently filled with copyrights. Licensing lawsuits flew at last year's pageant, the AC Press reports. So, when she is crowned, join us in quietly humming a few bars – but soft enough so the lawyers don't hear.

KEARNY – It wasn't long ago that New Jersey's elite kept a safe distance from former Gov. Jim McGreevey. Now – with former Gov. Jon Corzine named the "Official Ugly Stepchild of New Jersey" – it has been deemed officially OK to be seen publicly with our favorite Gay American. Today is the perfect example: Gov. Chris Christie will join McGreevey at the Hudson County jail to chat up women inmates about a program that reduces recidivism.

ON AIR – With the embarrassing removal of Ann Curry from the "Today" show – and all the terrible press that followed for Matt Lauer – the morning news program needs a savior. And who better than our own Governor? Christie will be the Gabber-in-Chief on May 24 as he serves as guest host for an hour. Interesting to see if Christie will whip up a low calorie, but tasty, summer soufflé or interview a zoologist and his many exciting pets.

ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL – Partisan politics aside, most would agree the Governor should face some scrutiny as he asks New Jerseyans for four more years as fearless leader. That, alone, should encourage some donations to the fledgling campaign of Sen. Barbara Buono, last seen scrambling for discarded change at the local Starbucks. If she can't raise $1.2 million in the next four weeks, she won't be able to get the full amount of matching state funds for the June 4 primary. Philly.com reports Christie just spent $1 million on TV ads, while the Buono campaign has resorted to online campaign videos – following a successful Windows 95 upgrade.

MANTOLOKING – A bit of irony: Fifty homes are ready to be leveled in Mantoloking, after being destroyed by weather. But today, because of weather, it looks like the work will have to wait for another day. Every single home in town was either damaged or destroyed in the Oct. 29 Superstorm, prompting the much-anticipated visit next week from Prince Harry. Hopefully, he will be bringing plenty of British pounds to help ease the suffering.

IN THE MEDIA

Best wishes to the very tolerant Sharon Waters, editor of NJ Biz, who will be moving on to join former Verizon chief Dennis Bone at Montclair State University, where he heads the Feliciano Center for Entrepreneurship at the School of Business. We know Sharon will miss the daily barrage of emails from PR people demanding page 1 articles for their non-news.

HAMILTON - It seems like one of the qualifications these days for membership in the New Jersey Legislative Correspondents' Club is an ability to belt out a tune. Its annual gathering last night will go down as one of the best performed in recent memory. Several performed notably including Joelle Farrell of the Philadelphia Inquirer, Brent Johnson of the Star-Ledger and Michael Aron of NJTV. But it was Phil Alongi, the executive producer of NJTV's NJToday, who brought the house down with a rendition of "No Pollo For Mio," to the tune of "O Sole Mio," that would have made Luciano Pavarotti jealous. With a deep baritone voice, Alongi sang about Christie's lap band surgery, a story that broke in the New York Post only hours earlier. "If these people were as good reporters as they were singers, things would be a lot better in the state," the governor quipped.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

It was this day in 1987 that Gary Hart quit the race for President amid a sex scandal with Donna Rice. Americans were relieved – knowing they would never again be embarrassed by high-ranking politicians and their extra-marital shenanigans.

MANTOLOKING – When you think Prince Harry, what politician immediately jumps to mind? Well, Gov. Chris Christie, of course, who will be taking England's buff royalty on a car ride through Mantoloking on Tuesday to assess the damage from Superstorm Sandy, The Star-Ledger reports. The two peas-in-a-pod will also be doing a walking tour of 10 homes that suffered extensive damage. No clue if they will also swap stories of fun in Vegas hot tubs.

TRENTON – The New York Post has scored a heavy-duty exclusive, reporting the Governor secretly underwent lap-band stomach surgery in February to aggressively cut down the weight. Christie told the newspaper he underwent weight loss surgery after turning 50 and thinking about his family and friends. Politicos also say he is thinking about the White House and the need to look like a legitimate Presidential candidate, not the "Before" photo in a late night infomercial.

NEWARK – As Grammy-winning singer Lauryn Hill was sentenced to three months in jail yesterday for ignoring $1 million in taxes over the past decade, we must all remember that she is a victim. Her experience in the music industry, she says, was just like the slavery imposed on her ancestors. She says she was thought of as a cash cow, not a person. And failing to pay her share of taxes was simply to protect herself and her children, now numbering six. So, with that nonsensical explanation, you can see society loves to turn its back on celebrities - a storyline to play out through her tortured days in prison.

TRENTON – Assembly Speaker Sheila Oliver is hinting the Assembly may reject $1.3 billion in campus building projects because the package includes a $10.6 million grant to a Yeshiva in Lakewood, Gannett reports. This could be a hornet's nest. How can there be any support for a new library and academic center at this Yeshiva if Oliver threatens to pull money from all the other projects? Oliver is questioning if public money should be used for religious purposes. Good question. But before the word "discrimination" is uttered, we need to ask why the Talmudic school was permitted to submit a grant application in the first place, and why it was accepted.

ON CAMPUS – If it wasn't difficult enough getting a job upon college graduation, the Internet has devised a new way to ensure long-term unemployment. FOX News reports there is a new website called "I'm Shmacked," in which drunken college students can post videos of all their stupid escapades during an intimate evening with a keg. These students may be smart enough to be accepted into decent schools, but they've still not learned what is posted on the Internet, stays on the Internet. The ideal college graduation gift: dehumidifiers for their parents' basements.

ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL – The Bergen Record has been keeping tabs on a promise from Sen. Bob Menendez last year to donate $18,800 in illegal campaign donations to two charities. Today, the newspaper notes, the checks still haven't been sent over to Autism Speaks and the state chapter of the Alzheimer's Association. Menendez says he ordered the checks written, but nothing happened. It's good to see the media keeping track of campaign promises; the money does plenty more for a charity than a campaign war chest that won't be tapped for another five years.

IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS

The Daily News says it's time to lay off former Rep. Anthony Weiner, mulling a run for New York mayor amidst a pounding of weiner jokes. Weiner puns, the newspaper says, have reached the same cheap laugh level as the second week of Linsanity. But, we say the mayor's race needs this guy. Weiner has been pummeled in every media market across the globe and forced into the stifling life of a stay at-home dad. Yet, his wife is somehow still with him, and he is willing to go another round in the city's rough-and-tumble political muck. He is smart, aloof and disgraced. Who better to run for NYC mayor?

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

It was this day in 1992 that five NYC cops were arrested in Hauppauge, Long Island for selling cocaine. A smart attorney could argue the cops were just removing drugs from Brooklyn streets, and should earn citations for their efforts.

JERSEY CITY – New Jersey is hearing the latest explanation from Mayor Jerry Healy about how he ended up photographed naked on his porch in 2004. Originally, he told The New York Times that he had been drunk and couldn't figure out how he ended up there. The story started to unfold when his spokesman explained Healy heard a commotion and raced outside. But Healy has now told The Star-Ledger of the apparent real story: three Hispanic girls were outside his home, banging trashcans.

Now, here is where the story gets weird:

The girls pulled the towel off of him and he "started laughing," Healy tells the newspaper. 
But then the mayor notes that the girls "started doing other stuff."

"It was filthy," the mayor says. "I chased them away and I just sat down." (Apparently, no need to go inside and get dressed). While the mayor was enjoying the cool night air, someone decided to snap a photo of him. See? This story is perfectly explainable.

TRENTON – A law that would bar licensed therapists from trying to convert gay teens into full-fledged heterosexuals is moving steadily through the State House. And that is prompting supporters of gay conversion to hold a press conference at 11:30 a.m. today to talk about the many benefits of convincing self-conscious teens that what they feel is wrong and must be changed for the good of themselves and society.

RIDGEWOOD – There will be a lot of 'splainin' to do in Ridgewood, following a massive teen house party over the weekend. In the latest of a string of teen house parties that began when John Smith left his kids alone in the Jamestown colony to hunt squirrel, police report 17 teens were hauled off in handcuffs for under-aged drinking. Fourteen others went to Valley Hospital to sober up. The Record reports it is unclear if the parents were home at the time. Either way, cops will be saving the big charges for whatever genius thought it was perfectly fine for their kid to have "a few friends over" for "maybe a beer or two."

STATEWIDE – Shhh. Hear that? Blissful silence, right? Ah, but only for a moment because your ears are about to be attacked by the mating calls of billions of cicadas. Once the ground temperature hits 64 degrees, the 17-year swarm of cicadas will emerge, spread their wings, fly around and look for some hot mating action in the last weeks of their lives. CBS reports the current group, Brood No. 2, is one of the largest ever — numbering in the billions. So, cancel that Memorial Day barbeque.

TETERBORO – Should a town with 67 residents be permitted five additional liquor licenses? Apparently, in Teterboro, the answer is a resounding "yes," as part of a new super, mega-shopping destination featuring a Walmart and Costco. The legislation allowing the liquor licenses already has the blessing of the state Legislature, the Record reports, and all are awaiting to see if the Governor signs off on the deal. But local restaurant owners are crying fowl, saying the new licenses will flood the market and take away business. State law allows one license for every 3,000 residents. An additional five licenses may seem a bit much for a town population that can fit in the back of a minivan.

UNION COUNTY – With word that county Democratic Chairwoman Charlotte DeFilippo is finally abdicating the throne, signs are pointing toward Assemblyman Jerry Green to be crowned. Green seems the ideal choice, as he has run the Plainfield Democrats for 25 years and has proven loyalty to the party. Interesting to see how new leadership will open county Democrats to new ideas and people.

IN THE MEDIA

With the Jersey City mayoral election down to the wire, there was some fine column writing last week by Agustin Torres of the Jersey Journal:

"While looking at Tarot cards to divine the Jersey City election, I was reminded of the Rule of 32.

Let me note this is the 100th anniversary of when Jersey City Mayor Frank Hague was elected to the city's first commission in 1913 under the new Walsh Act. On his re-election in 1917, Hague was selected among the commissioners as the city's mayor.

Now every 32 years, a little more than a generation, there has been an upheaval -- a change in the ruling political machine. So, 32 years after Hague became mayor, the machine was torn asunder when Hague's second in command, John V. Kenny, defeated Hague's choice and nephew, Frank Hague Eggers.

Another 32 years later, rebel and rascal Gerry McCann broke from the existing Democratic Party leadership to become mayor and wrest control of local leadership and quite possibly create more tribal leaders in the city.

This city election is another 32 years later."

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

It was this day in 1997 that the Rock n' Roll Hall of Fame inducted both Michael Jackson and the Bee Gees – showing America that, yes, there is nothing wrong with men who can make a career squealing like four-year-old girls.

ROSELLE – Barbara Buono unveiled a host of proposals to curb gun violence, including smaller magazine capacities, universal background checks and in-person ammo sales. Among the legislators and mayors joining Buono included Assemblyman Nicholas Scutari and Roselle Mayor Jamel C. Holley. They predicted the bills would be enacted into law – even in the face of resistance from Gov. Christie, who needs to walk a fine line between the widespread support for gun control measures in the state and the Second Amendment-Tea Party activists who vote in GOP presidential primaries.

ON CABLE NEWS – Buono took her gun safety proposal to the warm waters of Last Word with Lawrence O'Donnell this week, jabbing the Governor for a recent campaign ad saying he's made New Jersey proud again. The ad flap prompted a handful of online polls from media outlets looking to gauge feedback from always-proud New Jerseyans. Why have we always been so proud? Keep reading – you'll see.

BERKELEY – It's not unusual to see tempers flare on the sandlot, but when a coach assaults a teenaged umpire in front of pre-teen little leaguers following a questionable call on the base path, you know things are getting out of hand. The Asbury Park Press reports that the 43-year-old coach was ejected after arguing a call, prompting him to slap the 17-year-old ump in the ear. No one was hurt, but on hand to witness this dignified act were 10-, 11- and 12-year-old players, who got a chance to witness a flailing middle-aged man's little league coaching career come to a quick end.

HOWELL – When your dentist asks you to smile for the camera, more often than not it means he or she wants to see your teeth. Not so for this Township prosthodontist, who wants to see much, much, much more. The 49-year-old Freehold Township man set up Nanny cams directed toward the restrooms to monitor patients doing their business prior to an examination, the APP reports. Five victims have stepped forward and police anticipate more as the case unfolds. And you thought X-rays were invasive.

RINGOES – It's no secret to New Jerseyans that the state's winegrowers have become increasingly prominent over the years, making New Jersey's $35 million-a-year wine trade into the seventh largest in the country. But what's with the New York Times' wide-eyed take on this not-so-nascent industry? In between kind observations and tired references to Snooki and the Sopranos, the Times takes a moment to note that when South Jersey vineyard proprietors refer to "the City" they mean Philly, and not New York! The horror! Well, despite the clichés, the NYT's look at Jersey's good side is always welcome – we'll even flash our purple, wine-stained teeth for a nice photo.

BERGEN COUNTY – They come from the leafy suburbs and developments around Paterson and slip into the city to score some H. Police have historically focused on bigger-time distributors of heroin, but recently, stunned by an "alarming spike" of heroin deaths, according to Northjersey.com, police tried a different tactic: Target the buyers. Some 89 mug shots of white, middle class heroin buyers — looking every bit like the good kid next door — have been released and posted online. Anyone you know? 

LAKEWOOD – Responding to reports of a suspicious backpack near a post office, police – as well as a bomb-sniffing dog – instead discovered a live bird living in a coconut. There was no ID in the bag to indicate who harbored the mourning dove, but police were left baffled, and the bomb-sniffing dog barked. They say a bird in hand is worth two in the coconut...

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

It was this day in 1997 that Jason Queen won the ABC Bud Light Masters bowling tournament. Let's just assume that fact did little to impress the ladies at Applebee's.

EAST ORANGE – While we all know that a married politician having oral sex with a staffer in his office is so 1990s, you have to admit that the timing couldn't be worse for the news to leak in East Orange. Court papers have come out that show Mayor Robert Bowser admitting to some naughtiness, while he is in the throws of a tough re-election campaign. The majority of the City Council is outraged, calling for his resignation, while claiming Bowser's conduct will ultimately cost taxpayers $1 million for attorneys to sort it all out.

READINGTON – For those closely following the heated school board debate over the issue of eighth grade girls wearing strapless dresses to the big dance, here's an update: The school board voted last night on a compromise, permitting "a single clear or spaghetti strap to reduce the risk of wardrobe malfunction," CBS reports. Great, although it seems concerning it took the school board three votes to agree to the language.

HILLSIDE – In yet another distraction from the actual education of students, the principal of Hillside High School has been placed on administrative leave for spanking the backside of a 17-year-old girl, WABC reports. The school board president, in the principal's defense, noted he is "very hands on." Likely not the best defense for this charge, but we get it.

ROSELLE – Just days after Newtown families descended on Trenton to persuade state senators to support limits on ammunition magazines, Barbara Buono will be in Roselle today to unveil her own gun violence prevention plan as a gubernatorial candidate. Buono, who supports universal background checks and in-person ammunition sales, promises "decisive action." But considering the Governor's balky stance on the issues, "decisive" might be hard to come by. Joining Buono today will be Roselle Mayor Jamel Holley, a potential candidate for Lt. Governor and outspoken proponent for an organization known as "Mayors Against Illegal Guns."

TRENTON – After promising to gut the state's Council on Affordable Housing, Gov. Christie informed towns yesterday that the state would raid roughly $140 million in affordable housing set-asides, saying the money could be put to better use. The move followed a contentious meeting between housing advocates and COAH head Richard Constable, who, according to the Record, let advocates know that they could "file a lawsuit" if they didn't like how the decision was reached. Yeah, that'd be good use of public funds.

IN THE HAZE – New Jersey's most illustrious pot smoker – who has unsuccessfully tried to change his name to "NJWEEDMAN.COM" – is now offering a public service to anyone busted for marijuana possession – a 12-page legal motion that can be filed with the court. It's all free and downloadable off the website. But must we caution you from accepting legal advice from someone who proudly goes by the name NJWEEDMAN.COM?

IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS

TIMES SQUARE – For all those who dress up like cartoon characters and then demand money from tourists who photograph them, the reputation of your entire profession is at stake. A Cookie Monster, facing charges of violently shoving a toddler after the mom wouldn't tip, wants his day in court, refusing to accept a plea deal of community service and two hours of anger management. The NY Post reports he appeared before the judge yesterday in a three-piece suit and a Cookie Monster-blue bow tie to reject the plea and proclaim his innocence.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

It was this day in 1997 that America learned the romance between Donald Trump and bombshell Marla Maples was over, as they announced a separation. Ultimately, that dang pre-nuptial agreement left Maples with just $2 million, compared to the $25 million Ivana Trump earned after enduring The Donald for 15 years.

TRENTON – Should employers know if prospective employees served time in the slammer? One group – the New Jersey Institute for Social Justice – firmly says "no," holding a "Ban the Box N.J." rally on the steps of the Statehouse today. Interesting issue; seems an auto body shop should be told if a new mechanic did 3-5 years for a string of car thefts. But then again, the debt to society was paid.

TRENTON – In another quandary, two purveyors of legalized gambling in New Jersey participate today in a forum focused on compulsive gambling. The assumption is that New Jersey Lottery Executive Director Carole Hedinger and state Casino Control Commission Chairman Matthew Levinson will talk about all that is done to combat gambling addiction, even though their jobs, ultimately, are designed to nurture a healthy gambling industry.

ONLINE – Sure, social media campaigns are a great way for a politician to connect with the masses. But issues can arise when the masses actually connect back. Philly.com reports that supporters of Gov. Chris Christie have taken to Sen. Barbara Buono's Facebook page, writing dozens of negative posts about her chances of winning the governor's race. Buono's campaign had to scrub the page and change the account settings – thus ensuring the Facebook page works for the campaign, not Christie.

DOWN THE SHORE – Gov. Chris Christie says the federal government is expected to release updated flood maps in the next three to four weeks, reports the Asbury Park Press. Expect the maps to ignite some raw rage among some who will argue their homes are not prone to flooding, but now have to spend tens of thousands of dollars on pilings. Others will be relieved that they finally have some direction in rebuilding, as they've waited months to be told what they need to do.

NEWARK – If you didn't think the cost of living in the Brick City exceeded other, fancier parts of the state, you'd be wrong – at least partially. Newarkers pay an average of $2,800 a year to insure their cars - $700 a year more than the state average, the Record reports. The cheapest place to drive? Bucolic Hillsborough Township where deer, golf and Route 206 evidently keep costs down. What's interesting is that the average Hillsborough household income hovers around $105,000 a year while Newark's is about $35,000. Funny how that works.

CAMDEN - Could a new county-run police force mark the moment when Camden finally takes control of its streets? It all begins today, when the new department - with more officers - takes on full operation in the city. Gov. Chris Christie will be in the city for the big moment, as all hope hinges on if this county-run operation can fight crime better than a city police force drowning in rampant drugs, violence and crime.

SOUTH AMBOY – The Raritan Bay Waterfront Park, apparently in an effort to curb bird droppings has resulted in birds dropping...dead. CBS New York reports that the netting under some of the gazebos – intended to prevent birds from nesting and doing their business on lucky passers-by – is trapping birds, resulting in something of a macabre scene. Middlesex County is reportedly working on resolving the issue, but in the meantime, expect grossed-out picnickers to continue what's become a park tradition of losing their lunch.

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

It was this day in 1952 that TWA introduced "tourist class," featuring special $99 coast-to-coast deals. Consider it the beginning of the long descent into the bleak (and cramped) world of economy class, in which your dinner now comprises up to two bags of mini-pretzels.

DOWN THE SHORE – HUD's $1.83 billion in Superstorm Sandy block grants is certainly good news, but does it live up to Gov. Chris Christie and HUD Secretary Shaun Donovan's promise of rebuilding in a way that anticipates another Sandy? The money, which will provide grants and loans to renters, businesses and homeowners effected by the storm, doesn't stipulate some of the original promises to build higher, elsewhere, or to build anything that reduces the impact of flooding. While there's still hope that federal assistance will be used to prevent the affects of another massive storm, we were hoping for more as this windfall made landfall.

ON CAMPUS – With tuition and fees continuing to skyrocket at all those public colleges designed to educate the masses at an affordable rate, it is a welcoming sign to see state taxpayers investing in sorely needed updates. There's $1.3 billion about to be spent on science buildings and labs, as part of 176 projects at 46 colleges. But before you start thanking the politicians for all this tremendous job creation and investment in the future, remember who is actually paying the bill.

ON THE ROADS – There's nothing like a gubernatorial election to spark some good ol' job creation. Gov. Chris Christie is standing with New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo to talk about a whopping $2.5 billion in economic activity and 5,000 construction jobs as overdue work begins later this year on the Goethals Bridge, the Bayonne Bridge and the Outerbridge Crossing.

PATERSON – Did a second-grade teacher tell his students to go flush bottles of his own urine? The tenured teacher – who pissed away his gig at School 13 – says that didn't happen. And he is even appealing the decision to fire him, reports the Paterson Press. But the sticking point is those witnesses during a 12-day hearing, including two kids who carried the bottles and a custodian who saw it all. If the teacher is innocent, as he asserts, how could people make this stuff up?

FLORHAM PARK – The Tim Tebow era erupted with hype that hadn't been seen since Broadway Joe Namath adorned Number 12. The billboards outside the Lincoln Tunnel welcomed Tebow, jerseys bearing his number flew off the shelves and even sandwiches in Manhattan delis were renamed in his honor. The Tim Tebow era quietly ended yesterday when the popular, but pathetic, quarterback arrived at the team's facility and discovered he had been unceremoniously waived.

FLORENCE – File this one under "perhaps a good idea." The baseball coach at Florence High School is taking a leave of absence after being accused of allowing newbies to be bitten by other players. The Star-Ledger reports that the allegations of rampant chomping, part of a hazing ritual has resulted in the coach's voluntary leave, who called the situation "distracting." You know what's actually distracting, Coach? Being bitten by your teammates when you're trying to shag flies.

AT THE LANDFILLS - AshBritt, the hauler given a no-bid contract for Sandy clean-up, apparently needs a better GPS. The Record reported the clean-up firm claimed mileage for longer, and perhaps less direct, trips from temporary debris storage sites to an Ocean County landfill weigh station. The mileage rate goes up after a 16 mile trip. The Record found hundreds of instances when truckers claimed the higher rate even though the most direct route to the weigh station was less than 16 miles. The potential for unwarranted payouts, according to the newspaper, was $500,000. Do the AshBritt folks have Google maps? Or maybe an old Hagstrom in the glove compartment?

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

It was this day in 1952 that advertisers discovered a whole new way to introduce American children to the glories of consumerism – running the very first TV ad aimed at kids. The product? Mr. Potato Head.

HIGHLANDS — Gov. Chris Christie, with HUD Secretary Shaun Donovan in tow, will head to Highlands today to visit Superstorm Sandy-ravaged businesses. Expect a heavy emphasis on FEMA's $263 million given to New Jersey communities and nonprofit groups as towns look to have most boardwalks up and running by Memorial Day. But with 100-year storms seemingly happening every few years now, we can also expect Donovan to emphasize that we just can't rebuild as though Sandy never happened.

DOWN THE SHORE — Tourism revenue generated in 2013 will very likely show that Superstorm Sandy did, in fact, happen. The Record reports that last year's $19 billion shore tourism windfall will be hard to top this year, and that while boardwalks will be open, at least some of the 189,500 businesses affected by the storm will not. Somehow, we think that the state's love of the shore and its capacity to support the region will prove more beneficial than the $25 million the state has doled out to dispel any whiff of Sandy's impact.

STATEWIDE—We're a resilient bunch in the Garden State, so it's no surprise that a Quinnipiac Poll shows 75 percent said they'd continue to attend large sporting events, despite concerns over a terrorist attack. Fans might give Rutgers Men's Basketball, however, a somewhat more tepid ovation as Quinnipiac also found that two-thirds of those polled didn't like former Coach Mike Rice's $475,000 payout after his dismissal. The Quinnipiac takeaway? Jersey Pride all around.

NEW BRUNSWICK—Polls are good and all, but this weekend's record Rutgers Day turnout is theory in practice that folks will come out for a good time no matter what. The University says 83,000 people attended the event, which included Ag Field Day and the New Jersey Folk Festival. Now in its fifth year, Rutgers Day shows that the University can perform well when it tries hard to focus. Perception is everything for public institutions.

NEWARK—The Newark Teachers Village project, which will transform 11 blighted Central Ward blocks into mixed-use, affordable rental and workforce housing for city educators, has been honored by a statewide land-use policy non-profit organization for, well, good use of land. The non-profit, New Jersey Future, will formally recognize the Ron Beit-developed project at its annual Smart Growth Awards in June. Once this project receives its accolades, Beit will undoubtedly refocus on his $410 million Four Corners Millennium Project proposal at the corner of Market and Broad streets.

ATLANTIC CITY —There she is: Miss America is returning to Atlantic City this September and the Press of Atlantic City wants to know your favorite Pageant memories. Oh, where to begin? There was Miss Utah's Paraguayan harp performance in 1984. Then there was the time in 1959 when Miss Mississippi sang Puccini's "Un Bel Di." And, honestly, who can deny host Bert Parks' annual performance of the trademark theme song? But, if we can take some pageant liberties and venture outside the Miss America sphere for a moment, our favorite pageant performance remains Miss Carolina's bold take on student aptitude from Miss Teen USA 2007.

POUGHKEEPSIE, NY—The Marist College crew team made a shocking discovery last week when they happened upon a seven-foot-tall foam and fiberglass head. NPR reports that theories behind the origins of the head range from it being part of a Mardi Gras float that washed out to sea to it being part of a giant theater prop upstream. Whatever the origins, oh how we wish this had happened in New Jersey, because the Trentonian would have pegged it with an entirely inappropriate cutline.

This Day in History

The polls closed on this day in 1992 as Americans were tasked to weigh in on an issue of national significance: Young or Old Elvis? They voted to put Young Elvis Presley on the 29-cent stamp, of course, but 21 years later, we think Old Elvis (if 42 is old) deserves another shot.