The Jaffe Briefing - January 20, 2022

STATEWIDE – Crack open a beer and guzzle as you walk through town. Crazy thinking, right? This is New Jersey, home to some of the toughest liquor laws in the nation. But state officials are rethinking the whole “open container” law, as the pandemic showed that people can drink outside, in designated areas, without losing their minds. The governor signed a law that allows towns to set up specific, outdoor areas where we can enjoy our beer, wine and spirits. Of course, the modern-day temperance movement is appalled, as darkened saloons should be the only place where the dregs of society could fill their primal, alcohol-fueled urges, as their wives and children remain at home, huddled near the pot-belly stove, sharing the last can of beans. But we digress. Municipalities can now designate anywhere as an “open container area,” for those 21 and over – a great boon for local bars with take-out service, as well as further enticement for community festivals and events.

TRENTON – It’s a long-awaited executive order. But, finally, Gov. Phil Murphy has taken the critical, controversial step to require health care workers and others in “high-risk congregate living settings” to get vaccinated and boosted, or potentially lose their jobs. There’s no longer that test-out option, yet religious and medical exemptions remain. But the governor makes it clear that it you work in a jail, or a hospital, or whatever, enough is enough. Booster rates remain “too low” and “unacceptable,” Murphy says, adding “we are no longer going to look past those who continue to put their colleagues, and perhaps even more importantly, those who are their responsibility, in danger of Covid.” Of course, Republicans are appalled, as many are big opponents of vaccine mandates. Fine. But the current course, as we know, is not working.

SEASIDE HEIGHTS – Snooki just can't stay off the boardwalk. The pint-size “Jersey Shore” celeb Nicole 'Snooki' Polizzi is opening a fashion boutique in her old stomping grounds of fame and fortune. The specific boardwalk site is TBA, yet it will be in sight of the sand and surf that made this fashion plate a household name for many years on MTV. Polizzi, 34, operates two other women’s wear outlets, called “The Snooki Shop,” in Madison and Dutchess County, NY. Patch.com says her glorious return to the boardwalk won’t be a big hike, as she now has a wonderful home in nearby Toms River. Anyone itching to buy Snooki-style swimsuits, yoga pants or even maternity wear, just needs to sit tight until spring. Unclear if anyone can wait.

BRIEFING BREATHER

In most advertisements, including newspapers, the time displayed on a watch is 10:10.

PARAMUS – It’s unlikely that car thieves had any political motives for stealing Anthony Scaramucci’s luxury car off a borough street. Nevertheless, the former White House spokesman’s ride was swiped and later ditched in Newark, the Shore News Network says. Newark’s top cop praised Brick City’s detectives for quickly reuniting The Mooch with his missing ride, but also said the incident is among a rising number of North Jersey stolen cars being dumped on Newark streets. Scaramucci was Trump’s outrageously unqualified mouthpiece for 10 days before getting canned and then moving on to a career as a late night joke. The unsolved mystery here: What was Scaramucci doing in Paramus? Applying to be borough spokesman?

PISCATAWAY – Rutgers basketball had a great win last night against Iowa. Yet, before even the final RU-Rah-Rah chant at the RAC, the killjoys over at the Record were out with a report detailing the latest financial woes in the athletic department. So, sigh, here we go. It’s reported the department rang up a $73 million deficit in the last fiscal year, as spending hit an all-time high of $118 million during this pandemic. It is now up to students and taxpayers to fill the gap, as RU athletics received more university support in fiscal 2020-21 than any other public university in a major conference through 2019-20, going back to at least 2005. Hey, you are paying for all this. So, why not enjoy it? Rutgers basketball is home against Maryland next Tuesday. Great seats still available. Rather than complain about the debt, which seems insurmountable at the moment, come see why Big 10 sports are so important for New Jersey.

IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS

JEFFERSON CITY, Mo. – The alert hit the airwaves: The Missouri State Highway Patrol blared all an all-points bulletin: In search for a purple and green 1978 Dodge 3700GT, speeding in Gotham City. A couple of problems, though: There’s no Gotham City in Missouri and the car reference just happened to be the exact make and model that Joker used in the 1989 “Batman” movie. Soon after the Tuesday night alert, highway patrol asked the public to, er, ignore it. Then, there was a press release further clarifying things, explaining that a routine test of Missouri’s Blue Alert system was inadvertently transmitted statewide. The system is meant specifically to inform the public when a police officer is killed or seriously injured. Needless to say, Commissioner Gordon is not pleased with this big botch. POW!

THIS DAY IN HISTORY

It was a big victory for Ronald Reagan on this day in 1989, the first president since 1840 to be elected on a “0” year and leave office alive.

WORD OF THE DAY

Winsome – [WIN-sum] – adjective

Definition: Pleasing or cheerful

Example: I win some, with my smooth, winsome charm.

WIT OF THE DAY

"Waiting period? But I'm angry now!"

-Homer Simpson, in a gun shop

BIDEN BLURB

“Well, you know, my shotgun will do better for you than your AR-15, because you want to keep someone away from your house, just fire the shotgun through the door.”

- Joe Biden

WEATHER IN A WORD

Messy