The Morning Briefing - January 19, 2016
ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL – Breaking News: Gov. Chris Christie is actually pro-choice; he says kids can eat whatever the heck they want in school cafeterias. In Iowa yesterday, Christie said First Lady Michelle Obama should be bounced from schools, after dictating that kids across America eat healthy. “The first lady has no business being involved in this. This intervention into our school system is just another example of how the Obamas believe they have a better answer for everything than you do.” So, a vote for Christie would put soda machines back in cafeterias, where kids can freely guzzle 20-ounce bottles of cola, each with 65 glorious grams of sugar. Christie is now sure to win the vote of 10-year-olds.
NEWARK – Interesting to see what happens if city officials actually follow through on threats to sell the land beneath Port Newark – now leased to the Port Authority through 2065. The Record reports the city is serious about potentially selling hundreds of acres, and not just as a bargaining tactic to squeeze the Port Authority for more than the $8 million it currently pays each year. “We are looking to sell the land to people who are interested in it,” Deputy Mayor Baye Adofo-Wilson told the Record. Yet another no-win headache to add to the pile for the next Port Authority CEO, as the year-long search for this individual continues.
ATLANTIC CITY – Declaring bankruptcy isn't the answer. Instead, this seaside resort needs to consolidate and privatize services, and put big-ticket properties back on the tax rolls, says state-appointed emergency manager Kevin Lavin, to cover a projected $300 million deficit. Privatizing the Boardwalk Hall and the Convention Center could reap $11 million in new taxes. He also wants to regionalize the police department; privatize fire services; outsource trash collection; restructure the utilities authority; and sell the 22-acre Gardner's Basin and the closed Bader Field airport. Mayor Don Guardian told the Press of Atlantic City he needs to think about all this. Meanwhile, Nucky Johnson is rolling in his grave, seeing all those marvelous patronage jobs vanishing forever.
STATEWIDE — Bald Eagles are still making a Jersey comeback. The nonprofit Conserve Wildlife Foundation says the state now has 161 pairs of nesting Bald Eagles, up from a single nest in the early 1980s. The foundation's latest report says 13 new eagle pairs were found in the Northeastern U.S. last year, with two pair in Central Jersey. Expect Donald Trump to buy them, as part of his new bird condo project.
BAYONNE — Anti-Muslim protestors and other hate mongers are to descend on City Hall tonight before the zoning board makes its final decision to convert an empty 24th Street warehouse into an Islamic community center and mosque. Opponents tell N.J. Advance Media they have the usual objections to noise, parking and traffic; but their neighborhood posters cite payback for 9-11, and they invited anti-Islamic activist Pamela Geller and presidential wannabe Donald Trump to protest with them. If approved, the Islamic center would have a soup kitchen, classrooms and a prayer hall for 100 families to worship. Wow; so sinister.
FRANKFORD — An elusive pair of shoplifters who State Police say swiped a dozen Ninja blenders from Walmarts in Sussex and Morris counties are still at large, although detectives are sure they know the couple's names and getaway car thanks to social media. The couple pulls the same stunt at each store, hiding a Ninja blender – which sells for $175-$235 – in their cart under bags of less expensive purchased items – let’s assume puppy chow. State Police put store surveillance photos of the couple on Facebook last week, and within 20 minutes got a bunch of calls identifying the Ninja-loving duo, CBS News reports. Look for a clever defense lawyer to argue it was all just a big mix-up.
PASSAIC — This bizarre animal rescue case is for the birds, literally. SPCA agents and avian refuge workers removed 218 exotic birds – including many that usually sell for $500-$850 – from the tiny back room of a second-hand clothing store on Market Street. Some 30 cages were stacked floor-to-ceiling with up to 20 birds in a cage. Over 100 cockatiels, 40 mourning doves, four Amazon parrots, a cockatoo, and scores of parakeets, finches and canaries were taken to sanctuaries and refuges on Monday. The owner, who faces charges for improper breeding and storage, told the Record he did not sell the birds: “It was like therapy, the birds distracted me. It always made me happy to go in there.” Sounds like he could use therapy of another kind.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
CONCORD, N.H. — Women can “live free or die” here; they just can’t show off the goods. Male Republican lawmakers touched off a social media firestorm with a bill making it a crime for women to “purposely expose” their breasts. Breastfeeding is the exception and men can still go bare-chested with impunity. The “misogynistic misdemeanor bill” so infuriated Rep. Amanda Bouldin she took to Facebook to vent, and GOP colleagues fired back. One said: “Your nipples are the last I want to see. You want to turn family beaches into a pervert show.” Another posted: Women who bare a breast “should have no problem with men wanting to stare at it and grab it.” No wonder Gov. Christie enjoys his frequent visits to the Granite state; its legislative feuds are far more titillating.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
It was this day in 1810 that the overnight temperature dropped 50 degrees in Portsmouth, NH – unfortunate news for all those bare-chested New Hampshirites.
WORD OF THE DAY
Omphaloskepsis - (om-fah-loh-SKEP-sis) - noun
Definition: Contemplation of one's navel. (synonym: “navel gazing”)
Example: Mel has not been very focused on his work these days, as he struggles with an occasional bout of omphaloskepsis.